Sometime the whole story is awesome, sometimes just the first few sentences of the experience are awesome enough to stand on their own (or the second half of the story kills the first part in boring truths or shriveling embarrassment).

Add both sides of your story coin, or just one, leaving us wanting more. Impart something awesome or something embarrassing, but definitely something campfire worthy.

One time I had to run from the cops and ended up smashing into a wall

I was 11, and being the skinniest, was carrying all the toilet paper to TP a house under my coat. We all split off but the police car chose me to chase and after wryly rounding a corner I attempted to jump through a large hedge but I didn't know there was a wall just on the other side. The good thing is that me being knocked out from the head first leap, kept me still enough for the police to roll on by without noticing the clump of me on the ground under the bushes wearing camouflage even though we were in the city.

One day in HS I drove over to pick up a friend for School. I was a little early so he said we should get something to eat. One thing lead to another and we ended up going to Vegas for “breakfast” and heading back home. Oh to be young and stupid again.

one time when I was young, we had a pet dog. I liked to pet him and pat him on the head and watch his tail wag. Later that year I got a pet goldfish.

I thought, if my dog liked to be pet, then a gold fish must love it too. I took it out of the bowl, pet it, and pet it some more. Its tail flapping in my hand, I thought it must really be happy since a dog's tail wags when they are excited. i pet it some more, until it stopped. The fish died in the palm of my hand. I cried

I had to go to court once for stealing a car, then the losing plaintiff obstructed my accelerator cable and I ended up stuck going 120mph on the 202

My mother's second husband said he would trade my sister's seized-engine Ford Taurus (that she had bought in my name because of her young age) in exchange for replacing the transmission in my Grand Prix so she could still have a working vehicle (I had a truck too) and then after fixing the Ford, he decided to sell the nice vehicle he bought Mom and give her the Taurus (do remember, the Taurus cost $800 when first purchased). He "let" her leave with it when they separated, and then sued me for stealing it (twice). I had to go to a mediator who told me I needed to meet in the middle and pay half of what he thought the car (that was still in my name) was worth. I declined. Later, the judge laughed him out of court when he kept trying to display AutoTrader pictures of other (newer) Taurus's stating that it was worth well over 5K. Also it turns out he had installed the used transmission quite shoddily (it died again after one year, at which point, I let me mother use it for some trade in money on a Chevy Blazer) and the accelerator cables were never placed back in their cradles, free to get caught on the wiring brackets, causing the accelerator to get stuck and leaving me weaving in and out of cars before finally throwing it in neutral and braking onto the shoulder at a speed safe enough to kill the engine and power steering.

Was chased by a renta cop in a golfcart for tossing frogs at people windows. We would get a bunch of frogs and then toss them as hard as we could at the windows/glass doors of peoples houses that backed up to the golf course. We had people falling off their couches.

That's hilarious Bob.

One time I played chicken with a goat.

Skatchkins wrote:That's hilarious Bob.

One time I played chicken with a goat.

I take it the goat won. That explains how we are such good friends ;)

fatbob309 wrote:I take it the goat won. That explains how we are such good friends ;)

As I wrote the chicken/goat quip, I heard Joe's joke's punchline.

I just did a LOUD laugh... dang you!

One time, my ABS kicked in causing me to drive through the 4 foot tall median wall separating a parking lot from the sidewalk/southern ave.

One time I went fishing, and I caught a cow

I threw the line out too far on my grandfather's farm and it soared across the pond and the treble hook lodged in a grazing cow's hide.

Avis wrote:One time, my ABS kicked in causing me to drive through the 4 foot tall median wall separating a parking lot from the sidewalk/southern ave.

That happened to me twice in Colorado.
One time in Colorado my ABS kicked in causing me to get stuck downhill in the snow
One time in Colorado my ABS kicked in causing me to slam into a Jeep that was parked behind me.

* Note these are not found evident truths

Skatchkins wrote:That happened to me twice in Colorado.
One time in Colorado my ABS kicked in causing me to get stuck downhill in the snow
One time in Colorado my ABS kicked in causing me to slam into a Jeep that was parked behind me.

* Note these are not found evident truths

LOL

One time my XJ got stolen and I ran down the street cell phone in one hand, .40 in the other hand, In my boxers...

One time I had to call the head pastor at the largest Pentecostal church in Louisiana and apologize for calling his daughter a bitch.

One time I got pulled over by Chandler PD. It ended up being a long time friend of my dad. When I got home (after a quick stop) the same cop car was parked at my house and the friend was having a nice talk with my Dad about my driving.

one time while traveling in thailand, we had stopped at the local Lotus supermarket/electronics/clothing/sporting goods/mall type store

I had an interesting mix of octopus and papaya salad and shortly after had to make a stop at the restroom. For obvious reasons..

After plopping down on the seat and wondering if Octopus legs digest or come out like corn, I noticed the stall had a machine inside that dispensed toilet paper. The drawback? It cost money and I had none.

I resorted to using the alcoholic hand sanitizer wipes I had in my pocket. Needless to say, they burned

One time I beat up a pregnant clown.

I was a kid at a birthday party in the park. I thought it was just a fat clown. I kept punching it in the belly.

*maybe that's how clowns are actually made....