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Work
#1
I hate interviewing people.

I'm the one who has to most of the firing too.
#2
any of these things happen to you while interviewing people?

1. "... said he was so well-qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would prove that the company's management was incompetent."

2. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."

3. "... brought her large dog to the interview."

4. "... chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles."

5. "Candidate kept giggling through serious interview."

6. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time."

7. "Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."

8. "Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle."

9. "... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."

10. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office."

11. "Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview."

12. "Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president."

13. "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."

14. "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions."

15. "... wouldn't get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police."

16. "When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office."

17. "... had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him."

18. "... bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet."

19. "At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."

20. "... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."

21. "Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that the offer I had made was formal."

22. "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."

23. "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold."

24. "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview."

25. "A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?" I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more." "I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer."

26. "An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus."

27. "His attache opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume."

28. "He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn't want it to get stolen, and stated that he would require indoor parking for the moped."

29. "He took off his right shoe and sock, removed a medicated foot powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder four times a day, and this was the time."

30. "Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."

31. "He whistled when the interviewer was talking."

32. "... asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security."

33. "... she threw-up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened."

34. "Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."

35. "... asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview."
#3
ooo... cool the transvestite guy is here
#4
He's really going to have to invest in some Rogain or a wig if he's going to continue getting mad at us for "accidentally" calling him sir.
#5
It's Friday :)

Today's recorded dear diary minutes:
I tried to convince Robin at work it was National Hug Day but it didn't work. Neither did National Take Your Employee Home Day :cry:

So I sang to the tune of "Hey Mickey, you're so fine" my own song.
Hey Robin your "okay"
Your okay when you look away
Hey Robin!
Hey Robin!
#6
You are always so mean to her, but that is great.
#7
Glad y'all have so much fun. She is a cool girl to joke around with. Don't be too mean, you wanna/needa keep her there.
#8
Well yesterday, the pirate people came in. No, they weren't gay, at least I don't think so. Just your average 30-35 yr old guys who dress up like pirates on a regular (at least biweekly) basis, bulit a large pirate ship in their dad's backyard for their fights, sing pirate songs, listen to pirate music while driving, and get extremely offended if you ask them if they're anything like Vikings or if they like Jonny Depp.

I made a Pirate flag for their ship, "The Blood Diamond."

They were not in costume in the store, just very, how you say- Buckaneery.
#9
what did the flag look like? got a pic?

next time they come in you need to take a pic of them so we can see

them and the ufo/heart rock pointing to gold guy. I havent seen him yet either
#10
Mike, sometimes I wonder if you really work in a crack house. What do you really ship in those boxes besides human body parts?
#11
Its not a crack house its a Half way House. "I dont wana be Pirate"
#12
Well I now that they ship body parts and drugs, what else do you ship? Mike why dont you tell them about the sting we helped set up where we got all those people arrested.
#13
What will no sleep, an energy drink, your boss's Little Rascal scooter, no customers, and sheets of bubble wrap laid out on the floor get you?
#14
hmm i can picture you convincing him, that if he wraps himself in bubblewrap, it wouldnt hurt if he jumped off the building :wink:
#15
Oh and I want a pirate flag! I think I would have made a good pirate...
#16
Dooo it, Dooo it. I now how he can get and it would be really funny. Make sure you film it.
#17
Hmmm, that's an odd combo, what went on at work?
#18
It was just me. The boss wasn't there.
#19
High speed bubble poppin!!!! we have done that in rolly chairs!
#20
Woah. I actually just got this fax in the office:

Michael,

This is future Michael

Do not drink the water today!

It is poisoned!!


Luckily I just got it. Robin was about to take a swig, but I got to her in time and slapped her head away from the cup.