"It just screws in right?"

Michael, in response to girls peeing into water bottles.

hahahaha

"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken"

-the late great Colonel Sanders

...

In the state of Pennsylvania, the law states that if you can get the girl back to a hot tub, it is considered to be sexual consent.

Shotgunnascarjesus

That song is not yours! Stealer of hearts!! For the Daughter rides from Florida but you will not know her! The love is washed with dirty paint and you come like this!?!

-Homeless man in the park yesterday that kept following everyone around and shouting random things at them

As we are rolling through the middle of nowhere:

*GASP!!* There are bad guys in the woods!!
Where? How do you know that?
There's trash on the ground and you said only bad guys leave that!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stop stop stop!
What? What is it?
Kung Fu Panda lives there!!!

As we are passing the new Asian church on Northern and 27th Ave

One of my favorites comes from Ivan about age 7.

"Dad, and I going to be taller than you?"
"More than likely, son, but maybe only by an inch or two."
"Like you are taller than Pa?"
"Yes son."

about 10 minutes later

"Dad? Was Adam this tall?" (holding his hand up to his knee)
"Why do you ask, son?"
"Well, if I'm taller than you, and you are taller than Pa, then Adam must have been really short."

I love my engineer son.

...

Bobzona wrote:Does anyone know where I can buy an XJ? I'm ready to wheel again.

from my wife deedee

"these noodles have no taste but they sure taste good"

????????????:rolleyes:

HG 4x4 is such a great looking site. I love looking at it. Very profession and original. Again, kudos to you guys!

PM I received on the vjc

Flowershop girl has me laminate some teacher school stuff

I drop off the children artwork and jokingly say, "I like your drawings."
She says, "Oh I'm a teacher, they're not mine."
I tell the flowershop owner, "I don't think she got that was a joke. It's obvious she's a teacher."
Owner: "Yeah She's special ed."
Me: "Ha ha, yeah lol"
Owner, "No... She teaches special ed."
"Oh"

Skatchkins wrote:Flowershop girl has me laminate some teacher school stuff

I drop off the children artwork and jokingly say, "I like your drawings."
She says, "Oh I'm a teacher, they're not mine."
I tell the flowershop owner, "I don't think she got that was a joke. It's obvious she's a teacher."
Owner: "Yeah She's special ed."
Me: "Ha ha, yeah lol"
Owner, "No... She teaches special ed."
"Oh"

OMG! Now THAT's funny, boss.

If it bleeds, we can kill it!

I would accept Arnold or Manmping for the quoter

...

You people have been chosen to reveal our existence to the world! You will witness what happens here today, and you will tell of it later

"In a perfect world, all ten fingers would be on my left hand so my right hand would just be a fist for punching”

"Dolphins get a lot of good publicity for the drowning swimmers they push back to shore, but what you don’t hear about is the many people they push farther out to sea! Dolphins aren’t smart. They just like pushing things."

"I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself."

-Dwight Schrute

"Did the dog just fart?......... or am I smelling my own breath?"

Jonathan

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways always going to Bangkok

-Wise Chinaman

Like sharpened knives through chicken McNuggets