Random Quotes and Caffeine Burps

Jan 21, 2011 08:16 PM #61

Skatchkins wrote:Like sharpened knives through chicken McNuggets

mmmm Cake. Tasty.

(also my theme song for today... LOL)

Jan 28, 2011 07:04 PM #62

If you want to destroy my sweater
Hold this thread as I walk away

Jan 28, 2011 07:31 PM #63

It was not my fault that the curb hit the car:rolleyes:

Jan 31, 2011 05:24 PM #64

:)) http://www.higherground4x4.com/forums/showthread.php?3133-Random-Quotes-and-Caffeine-Burps&p=34506#post34506

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Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds.
H 10:24

Mar 03, 2011 05:08 PM #65

"We can have either employees or pizza" - my old boss giving a speech about why we no longer have team building events.

Shortly after, the company laid off 15% of our staff and we still had no pizza

Mar 05, 2011 05:11 AM #66

...

We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
We do not want your tired and sick.
It is your corrupt we claim.
It is your evil that will be sought by us.
With every breath we shall hunt them down.
Each day, we will spill their blood till it rains down from the skies.
Do not kill, do not rape, do not steal, these are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behavior and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.
There are varying degrees of evil, we urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over, into true corruption, into our domain.
For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three. And on that day, you will reap it.
And we will send you to whatever god you wish.
And shepherds we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand.
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.

Mar 05, 2011 03:40 PM #67

Watched that again last week. Good call. with all the gun talk the last few days I keep picturing "Jafar" with a six shooter laughing the rest to death.

Mar 10, 2011 01:54 AM #68

YOU ARE A REAL JEEPER IF....

1. A new dent in the sheet metal actually fixed another dent, or it just added some character.

2. You know at least 3 800 numbers to aftermarket off-road business by heart.

3. You are on a first name basis with the guys at every local auto parts store in town.

4. You want to take things apart and rebuild them, even if they are not broken.

5. You have a monetary equivalent of a Mercedes Sedan invested into your jeep, but it still looks like crap.

6. You consider starting a vehicle five times in any given minute routine.

7. You own a vehicle, which now weighs 1000 pounds more than when it came off the showroom floor.

8. You look for jeeps in everything, and try to figure out the year and model.

9. You are the type of person who immediately goes postal if you sit in a highway traffic jam more than 5 minutes, yet you can spend six hours driving one and half miles and consider it to be a form of relaxation.

10. You'll stop and look at any old rust heap thinking parts vehicle.

11. Your Jeep has more (farm/boat/military/other) equipment on it than OEM parts.

12. The weatherman says "Stay in, it's dangerous" and you think "Time to go wheeling".

13. You are happy that you can't use 1st gear on the street.

14. A military convoy passes by and you only look at the axles, tires, and antennas.

15. You have enough straps, chains, rope, etc. in your Jeep to keep the Queen Mary docked during a hurricane.

16. You understand that JEEP is a way of life, not just for transportation.

17. You use a hose to clean the inside and the outside.

18. A low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you, and you get out and Bitch slap the driver.

19. You have a high-water mark on the Inside of the Jeep.

20. You use a ice scraper on the Inside of the windshield.

21. The AAA guy breaks down, you stop and fix his problem and get back on the road.

22. You'll drive 2 days at 600 miles a day so you can spend 2 more days driving 3 miles per day.

23. You have more pictures of your Jeep than of your kids.

24. You spend more time deciding which $3.00 bushing to use than you do on personal hygiene.

25. You take your date home early on a Saturday night so you can work on your Jeep.

26. You call a scratch or dent, a beauty mark.

27. You roll it over and don't get upset.

28. You puke when you see a RAV-4.

29. You pull into the Unplowed parking spots on snowy days.

30. You take your friends wheeling and they say, "Trail?; I don't see any trail!"

31. You've been forced to add CJ, YJ, and TJ to your spell checker.

32. It rains and you don't care if your top and doors are on or off.

33. You change your plugs in the parking lot at work while on break.

34. You get more heat through the holes in the floor than you do through the heat vent.

35. Every page of your repair manual has greasy finger prints on it.

36. Every car wash in town has banned you for life.

37. You feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser.

38. You are the only one on the street that doesn't plow their driveway.

39. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage.

40. You nickname your Jeep after i.e.. the noise it makes, the last screw up on the trail, etc.

41. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station.

42. You carry more extra fuel than what most of today's cars hold in their gas tanks.

43. You're constantly getting passed on the highway.

44. When rendezvousing with a lady for the first time, you tell her that you're the one that smells like a Jeep.

45. Winter comes and you can't remember where you put the top.

46. Your wallet is always empty.

47. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm.

48. You carry along a replacement part for every driveline component on the Jeep.

49. You slam your door and pieces of mud or rust fall from your Jeep.

50. You have to let the air out of your tires to get the Jeep into a garage.

51. Your parts department is on blocks behind your house.

52. Passengers scream "Don't Roll It!" when you take them wheeling.

53. Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it.

54. You think any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel.

55. You can't take a girl in a dress on a date without carrying along some steps.

56. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud.

57. You get custom pin striping from trail brush.

58. You are outlawed at every car wash in town.

59. You can see OVER a Suburban

60. You're sitting here reading this while your wife/husband is waiting for you in bed.

.

Mar 10, 2011 01:28 PM #69

LOL Nice. I was actually reading that on facebook last night and had to actually laugh out loud multiple times. 8)

Apr 14, 2011 10:08 PM #70

From a teacher friend....

"Aughhh! My kids are a bunch of communists! They were all about socialism! :-/"

May 22, 2011 12:58 AM #71

"ahhh shucky ducky as the man would say" - Herman Cain

Jun 22, 2011 09:14 PM #72

Picking up girl's folded black lacy padded bra in the dark.
"Oh, you forgot your little purse."
"That's my bra. What do you mean little?"

Sounds better telling it that way without subtext, so no subtext shall you.

Jun 23, 2011 10:23 PM #73

My favorite grizzly old man is in the shop. Great cuss riddled stories. More Gran Torino than Eastwood could ever be.

These GD F'ers come up to our fishing spot with their GD Bronco pos's and think they're going to cross the river where my grandchildren are fishing. They see me GD eyein them up and they have the balls to park right there and say, I thought we could cross here old man. So I stand up staring towards them and say Maybe you should get yourself GD map MF. So they start to get out of their trucks and as soon as that happens my GD brother gets out of his GD chair, he's got the cross the shoulder double holsters on outside his shirt and says, "You boys are in luck, I sell maps." Those MF'rs got back in their GD truck and left so fast. I don't think they even got to see his shiny GD MP5 hanging on his chair back.

Jul 25, 2011 08:28 PM #74

"Is that you in your underwear in those Colorado pictures?"

Jul 27, 2011 06:22 AM #75

Jul 27, 2011 06:21 PM #76

Careful Alan, you'll attract deer.

Aug 18, 2011 11:19 PM #77

When you say "That's a good picture of you," isn't that an insult?

You're not saying "You look good." You are instead saying "This artificial, limited representation of you makes you look good, or, at least, better than you actually do in reality."

You have just established that that picture either 1, is misleading in making the subject appear more attractive than in reality, or 2, even if not misleading per se, establishes the upper bound of the subject's possible attractiveness.

If a picture is "good," or, worse yet, "really good," that essentially fixes the uppermost possible level of attractiveness for a subject at that moment and in that light. It's all downhill from there.

You might as well hold up the picture and say, "For good or ill, this is as good as it conceivably gets for you. Deal with it."

ace.mu.nu

Aug 30, 2011 08:55 PM #78

At dinner the other night I had to explain to Jon, Dana, and Melissa what a hipster was as they were unfamiliar with the term. Every time I tried to describe one they said, that's just a gay person, you're just describing a gay person.

Aug 30, 2011 09:53 PM #79

Skatchkins wrote:At dinner the other night I had to explain to Jon, Dana, and Melissa what a hipster was as they were unfamiliar with the term. Every time I tried to describe one they said, that's just a gay person, you're just describing a gay person.

yep... pretty much "Matt" (the PBR gave it away...)

Aug 30, 2011 10:34 PM #80

I prefer this version of Matt